"Hi, I'm David Lynch. You may remember me from such headfuck mind warps as Eraserhead and Blue Velvet. I was also an Eagle Scout and I enjoy disecting fish for pleasure. Ah yes, in between weather reporting on my website and launching my own range of coffee, I have a new film coming out in a few weeks. It's called INLAND EMPIRE and has Laura Dern in it. There's probably some other people too, but mainly Laura Dern. Who I'm not in love with, yeah? Basicly the plot line is "A woman in trouble" because anything more than that would just confuse people, and also I hate when people talk about my films. My films are what they are, like Popeye, except more grammaticly correct. Anyway, INLAND EMPIRE makes perfect sense, you just have to meditate for a couple of hours beforehand and consume a lot of cheese. The Academy snubbed INLAND EMPIRE, even though I stood by the roadside with a cow to promote it. Some people, eh?"
I bought Empire today, while sheltering in Superquinn from the torrential rain and read it in their upstairs cafe. I was very interested and excited to read that they gave Inland Empire a glowing review with five stars. Five?! The review reassured me on two levels: first off it was a fabulous review and secondly, I found out the rating. Thankfully, it's a 15 age limit, so I'll be able to get it in! I was expecting an 18, so that's good news. I now need to find someone to see it with...
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