Doctor Who + Kylie + Goldfrapp = wow.

What the bleep. I just posted literally five minutes ago about a couple of things that brightened up my day today and then clicked onto Popjustice and came across this.

Oh. My. Doctor.

I thought my eyes were decieving me. But no. Oh no. A Doctor Who/Kylie themed single that's based off a Goldfrapp song, featuring Tardis noises with a Killers sample, and a title that seems to reference "Song 4 Mutya". ARGH! Isn't that just amazing?


Answer: yes.

Well, on one level it's awful. It's cheesy and pun-filled. It's by something called The Fast Ood Rockers. It's designed to hit the Christmas Number One spot.

But on the other hand...

Listen to it!

I'm (So) There

Picture the scene. It's a dark, windy evening in Dublin city centre, with rain splashing around my hood and my bag uncomfortably heavy with textbooks. I'm not in altogether the best of moods, the bus into town was crowded and smelt of hot, damp bodies and I now have to go to Irish classes for an hour and a half. On my way, I decided to take a tiny detour and nip into the IFI to check if their new brochure is out. Within seconds, my mood has changed, there's a lightness in my step and glee rising in my throat; I'm Not There is opening on 21st December. It's the first I've heard of an Irish release date for the Tod Hayne's Dylan biopic, which I've been patiently waiting for for quite some time. I'm by no means a Dylan buff, or even much of a fan - I like some of his songs, but not enough to ever purchase any - and I know next to nothing about his life (to give you an idea of the lack of depth in my Dylan knowledge base, I'll confess that for years I thought he was singing Tango Lovin' Blues, which I still think is a superior title). Yet, everything I read about I'm Not There appeals to me. The initial premise, the cast, the cinematography, the director, Tobias Funkee as Ginsberg - I honestly think it's one of the most novel, interesting and downright exciting ideas of 2007.

The soundtrack disc seems tailored to my tastes, too.* Have a look (I've bolded the ones that interest me the most)


Disc 1
1. Eddie Vedder and the Million Dollar Bashers: "All Along the Watchtower"
2. Sonic Youth: "I'm Not There"
3. Jim James and Calexico: "Goin' to Acapulco"
4. Richie Havens: "Tombstone Blues"
5. Stephen Malkmus and the Million Dollar Bashers: "Ballad of a Thin Man"
6. Cat Power: "Stuck Inside of Mobile With the Memphis Blues Again"
7. John Doe: "Pressing On"
8. Yo La Tengo: "Fourth Time Around"
9. Iron and Wine and Calexico: "Dark Eyes"
10. Karen O and the Million Dollar Bashers: "Highway 61 Revisited"
11. Roger McGuinn and Calexico: "One More Cup of Coffee"
12. Mason Jennings: "The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll"
13. Los Lobos: "Billy"
14. Jeff Tweedy: "Simple Twist of Fate"
15. Mark Lanegan: "The Man in the Long Black Coat"
16. Willie Nelson and Calexico: "Señor (Tales of Yankee Power)"

Disc 2
1. Mira Billotte: "As I Went Out One Morning"
2. Stephen Malkmus and Lee Ranaldo: "Can't Leave Her Behind"
3. Sufjan Stevens: "Ring Them Bells"
4. Charlotte Gainsbourg and Calexico: "Just Like a Woman"
5. Jack Johnson: "Mama You've Been on My Mind"
6. Yo La Tengo: "I Wanna Be Your Lover"
7. Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova: "You Ain't Goin' Nowhere"
8. The Hold Steady: "Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window"
9. Ramblin' Jack Elliott: "Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues"
10. The Black Keys: "Wicked Messenger"
11. Tom Verlaine and the Million Dollar Bashers: "Cold Irons Bound"
12. Mason Jennings: "The Times They Are a-Changin'"
13. Stephen Malkmus and the Million Dollar Bashers: "Maggie's Farm"
14. Marcus Carl Franklin: "When the Ship Comes In"
15. Bob Forrest: "Moonshiner"
16. John Doe: "I Dreamed I Saw St. Augustine"
17. Antony and the Johnsons: "Knockin' on Heaven's Door"
18. Bob Dylan: "I'm Not There"

But that wasn't the best film news I got all day. Oh, dear me no. That honour would go to the rereleasing of All About Eve! A brand new 35mm print, no less. It's showing for three days after Christmas. Just thinking about watching it on a large screen, in the sensory depravation zone of a cinema, with a bevy of other Eve-fans, makes me feel all tingly inside.

*If you trawl over to the film's MySpace (I find it slightly disconcerting that films have social networking sights, but whatever), you can listen to a selection of the cover songs, including Sufjan Stevens and Cat Power.

Cinematography

Okay, so yesterday I said I had some definite ideas about this year's Cinematography greats. Turns out I lied. I had originally been backing Jindabyne, for those sprawling, uneasy landscapes but then I got to thinking. What about Martin Ruhe's work on Control?


To make a glimmering Australian landscape look beautiful is easy, but to extract the poetry from everyday life is more difficult. There were a number of standout things about the Ian Curtis biopic (and many that fell flat) but the photography was impeccable. Crisp, streamlined and fluid, the b&w lent Curtis' life a kinetic beauty filled with gravitas.

Harris Savides has had a busy year. He's the DP on three of the year's most anticipated films, American Gangster, Margot at the Wedding and the one you can see to your left, Zodiac. Poor old David Fincher; despite Zodiac's prestige it seems to be left behind when it comes to Oscar buzz. Was it too long, too convoluted for the AMPAS? Too wordy? Released too early in the year? Whatever the reason for the lack of hype surrounding it, people shouldn't neglect Savides' work in this picture. He's a prestigious cinematographer, working with some of the most respected directors around (van San, Fincher, Scott) and I think this is he best work yet. I couldn't find any stills from the opening scene, the haunting murder set to Donovon's "Hurdy Gurdy Man", but it was one of the most chilling
and beautiful scenes I've watched this year.


Question - can animated features be nominated for Cinematography accolades?

Soak that in. Mmmmm. I've been searching the net for an answer to my query, and the only thing I've found out is that Who Framed Roger Rabbit was nominated in 1988, but seeing as how that was a mixture of live action and animation, I don't know if that counts. Nope, judging from my quick resarchm a fully animated feature is not eligible for inclusion (which makes sense, I guess) but just look at the pretty!

If I chose the Oscars...

I've come to the conclusion that there's not much point me doing Oscar predictions this year. Partly because I haven't been following the ceremony for very long and therefore don't have the valuable knowledge and empiricial sense that is necessary for predictions. Secondly, anything I single out for nomination, whether it be best actor, cinematography or score, will be singularly be filtered through my own personal tastes. I refuse to even consider Ikea Knightly for Best Actress, (I haven't seen Atonement so I can't judge her performance in that) because I find her impossibly wooden and irritating. I acknowledge that she's a likely lock, but screw that. I vote with my heart as much as with my head, and I cannot even reluctantly grant her a placing on my own list. Thirdly, living in Ireland is somewhat a disadvantage as regards getting out to see the films. Not for lack of quality screens and cinemas, but distributors are often months behind the US and it's frustrating reading rave reviews of a film recently opened in the states and knowing you have to wait to get to see it yourself. Release dates can be severely skewed, and so certain performances I loved this year (Maggie G in Sherrybaby,Laura Dern in INLAND EMPIRE) won't be eligible for this year's awards. So, casting all these difficulties aside, I present what I would be overjoyed to see at this year's AMPAS ceremony.

Best Picture: Zodiac


Best Director: Ray Lawrence, Jindabyne

Best Actor in a Leading Role: Chris Cooper, Breach



Best Actress in a Leading Role: Laura Linney, Jindabyne


This is the category that inspires the most torment on my part. Linney's quiet portrayal of a woman struggling against an inpeneratable problem was the first performance that blew me away this year, yet the film itself didn't make a splash. Jindabyne was released in a very Linney-ish year, with The Savages looking to actually garner her a nomination (something I'd be very pleased with, Linney is one of my favourite actors working today and the clip of The Savages I've seen looks great). Yet the field is strong, with Julie Christie's devilish Alzhemier's victim, Marion Cotillard's spirited Edith Piaf and the nobility that Angelina Jolie brought to A Mighty Heart. There were other good female leads this year of course, but these four were my favourite, appealing on different levels. I watched Away From Her last night and so Julie Christie is freshly imprinted on my brain and thus I am inclinced towards giving her my number one spot, but I know Linney will stay with me for longer.


Best Actor in a Supporting Role: David Strathairn, The Bourne Ultimatum


Best Supporting Actress: Samantha Morton, Control


I'll eventually get around to looking at the other categories. I have strong favourites for music, cinematography, screenplay etc. I still haven't seen many of the big hitters this year, so in a month or so I'm guessing these picks will look outdated and poorly thought out. But for the moment, I'm sticking by them.

"Cats say, you know, fuck this shit"

RIPPLE EFFECTS OF THE WRITERS' STRIKE.

by John Moe

- - - -

Airline pilots

Lack of scripts means pilots are unable to perform "welcome from the cabin" announcements, which are customarily lengthy, loquacious, and infuriatingly drawn out. Having dedicated their careers to the complex task of operating commercial aircraft, pilots reveal themselves to be woefully inept at extemporaneous speaking, as their attempts ("We're in air. High up. Weather. No crash. Temperature!") prove disastrous. Filled with self-loathing, pilots refuse to leave their homes and eventually die. All air travel ends.

Grocery-store produce managers

Unable to skillfully phrase sales like "Grapes—$1.99/lb.," retailers panic and choose instead to throw fruits and vegetables at customers while screaming, "MONEY NOW!" Frightened by the prospect of facing a grocery store full of wild-eyed produce managers clutching rotten bananas while cloaked in ersatz-broccoli cloaks (fashioned after long bouts of existential madness), customers stay away. Consumer economy collapses.

Clergy

When you think about it, it's a bit too much to expect someone with an exceptionally profound sense of spirituality to also be a gifted crafter of prose. I mean, what are the odds, right? But since the strike means no new sermons written, the clergy must simply read from sacred texts and then stare forward, blinking. Attendance at religious services plummets, churches are boarded up, and, perhaps most importantly, God just says, "You know what? Screw all of you," and walks out.

Brides and grooms

Roadside direction signs like "Johnson-Turpin Wedding—Turn Left" are no longer possible and are replaced by feeble nonunion attempts such as "Girl! Ring! Left! I am Turpin! Turpjohn! Dress! Ah!" With would-be attendees unable to find events, weddings cease. Then love ends.

Rock-concert attendees

Shouting the classic written line "Play 'Free Bird'!" has historically been a quick way to convey to fellow concertgoers the message "I am aware that I am watching a concert by a band that would be highly unlikely to ever play a Lynyrd Skynyrd classic, but by shouting out such a request, I demonstrate that I am a student of popular culture, that I am intellectually superior to Skynyrd fans, and that I have mastered irony." But with no one to write such lines, fans soon forget about shouting "Play 'Free Bird'!" The result: the whole world starts going to more concerts, live music thrives, the human condition is elevated, beauty proliferates, and fewer douchebags get themselves stabbed at shows.

Pet-store owners

Without the assistance of professional writers, such droll puns as "purrfect pets" prove impossible, leaving shopkeepers to describe their offerings as "perfect pets." This results in unrealistic expectations being placed on the pets. Eventually, an acrimonious pet/owner dynamic emerges that proves impossible to overcome. After a surprisingly short period of time, cats say, you know, fuck this shit and they leave. The human/cat arrangement, which, to be honest, has been on thin ice for centuries, finally collapses and the domestication of the cat ends.

Poets

With their natural predators, the screenwriters, out of the literary ecosystem, poet herds thrive and proliferate, soon overrunning their native habitats and exhausting their food supply. Before long, having any unlocked windows in one's house becomes an invitation to poets to bust in, which they unfailingly do, spouting some goofy-ass nonsense while grabbing whatever is in the fridge. All are shot on sight, of course, creating an unwelcome sanitation problem. Heartened, God gives us one more chance.

Taken from McSweeney's

Happy Birthday Maggie!

Jake's older sister turns the big 3-0 today. I've always thought she's one of the most interesting and versatile actresses working today. Which other starlet could you imagine doing Secretary? Or lending their voice to an animated film that's not Pixar or part of the Shrek franchise (Monster House)? Or babbling away in French in this years Paris, Je t'aime? She has an adorable baby with Peter Sarsgaard and her favourite actress is Gena Rowlands, so I can forgive her even that dreadful boiler suit she once sported.

"I've realised that the only way to make movies that you're proud of, that don't fall into the sentimental bullshit that so many movies fall into, is to fight. You have to fight. So many people are willing to sleepwalk through things and fall into the not human, not interesting choice".

Favourite Maggie Gyllenhaal performances:

5. Adaptation/Monster House (both small roles, but quirky and memorable)
4. Mona Lisa Smile
3. Donnie Darko
2. SherryBaby
1. Secretary

Friday's Song

I'm not afraid of Nichol's Park
I ride the train and I ride it after dark
I'm not afraid to get it right
I turn around and I give it one more try
I said things that I meant to say
The bandstand chairs and the Dewey Day parade
I go out to the golden age
The spirit is right and the spirit doesn't change

Sufjan Stevens, "Jacksonville"